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투나미스 2020년 06월 05일 출간

작품소개

책소개

How to Win Friends and Influence People covers a lot of ideas. A good way to understand the book is to learn the general principles underlying the book. Then we’ll cover a checklist for two common situations: 1) how to approach arguments, 2) how to give feedback and change someone else’s behavior.

Principles
People crave the feeling of importance. Make someone feel important and they will think well of you. Diminish someone’s importance and they will resent you.

Appeal to the other person’s interests. Virtually all people care more about what they want than what you want.

You wouldn’t go fishing with cheesecake as a lure, since fish don’t like cheesecake. Go fishing with worms.

Keep asking yourself - “what is it that this person wants?”

Everyone has something they can teach you, and you benefit by figuring out what that is. This belief leads to a genuine interest and appreciation for other people.

Angry people are often angry because they feel unheard. Once you sympathize with them, they will soften their anger substantially.

Approach people with a positive demeanor. Smile and be happy.

A person’s name is the most important word in any language to them. Use it often and respect it.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Ask questions that they’ll enjoy answering.

To influence people to do things, praise and appreciation are more effective than orders.

Don’t start by criticizing or complaining. This makes them defensive and rationalize their actions. Instead, praising them lowers their defenses, and they’ll be more receptive to your feedback.

목차

How This Book Was Written―and Why by Dale Carnegie　

PART I. Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"
2. The Big Secret of Dealing with People
3. "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way.''
4. Nine Suggestions for How to Get the Most Out of This Book
5. In Order to Get the Most Out of This Book:

PART II. Six Ways to Make People Like You
1. Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere
2. A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression
3. The Value of a Smile at Christmas
4. If You Don't Do This., You are Headed for Trouble
5. An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
6. How to Interest People
7. How to Make People Like You Instantly
8. Six Ways to Make People Like You

PART III. Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1. You Can't Win an Argument
2. A Sure Way of Making Enemies― and How to Avoid It
3. If You're Wrong, Admit It
4. The High Road to a Man's Reason
5. The Secret of Socrates
6. The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
7. How to Get Co-operation
8. A Formula That Will Work Wonders For You
9. What Everybody Wants
10. An Appeal That Everybody Likes
11. When Nothing Else Works, Try This
12. Twelve Ways of Winning People to Your Way of Thinking

PART IV. Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense Or Arousing Resentment
1. If You Must Find Fault, This is the Way to Begin
2. How to Criticize― and Not Be Hated for It
3. Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
4. No One Likes to Take Orders
5. Let the Other Man Save His Face
6. How to Spur Men on to Success
7. Give the Dog a Good Name
8. Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
9. Making People Clad to Do What You Want

책 속으로

What Everybody Wants

Wouldn't you like to have a magic phrase that would stop argument, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively?

Yes? All right. Here it is. Begin by saying: "I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you, I should undoubtedly feel just as you do."

An answer like that will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive. And you can say that and be one hundred per cent sincere, because if you were the other person, of course you would feel just as he does. Let me illustrate. Take Al Capone, for example. Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind that Al Capone inherited. Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be precisely what he was―and where he was. For it is those things―and only those things ―tiaat maude him what ha was-

The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren't rattlesnakes. The only reason you don't kiss cows and consider snakes holy is because you weren't born in a Hindu family on the banks of the Brahmaputra.

You deserve very little credit for being what you are― and remember, the man who comes to you irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, deserves very little discredit for being what he is. Feel sorry for the poor devil. Pity him. Sympathize with him. Say to yourself what John B. Gough used to say when he saw a drunken bum staggering down the street: "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Three-fourths of the people you will meet tomorrow are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.

출판사 서평

Dale Carnegie's advice has remained constant and applicable across the years for a reason. It's simple and his techniques make perfect sense. If you're anything like me, you'll be kicking yourself when you see how you could have handled situations differently. I'm being transformed from a socially awkward, timid and defensive person, to someone that seems collected and confident.

If you're having troubles in life and simply can't figure out what you're doing wrong, this is a fantastic place to start. Good luck on your journey!

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Dale Carnegie was born in 1888 in Missouri and was educated at Warrensburg State Teachers College. As a salesman and aspiring actor, he traveled to New York and began teaching communication classes to adults at the YMCA. In 1912, the world famous Carnegie Course was born. He authored several bestsellers, including, “How to win Friends and Influence people”, and “How to stop worrying and start living.” Over 50 million copies of Mr. Carnegie's books have been printed and published in 38 languages. Mr. Carnegie was a prominent lecturer of his day and a sought-after counselor to world leaders. He wrote newspaper columns and had his own daily radio show. Dale Carnegie founded what is today a worldwide network of over 3,000 instructors and offices in more than 70 countries.